to do what sets your soul on fire, not for me. maybe that is why that its my favorite quote is that I would like to be that courageous. I don't know how to do anything else. There is no college degree in pschcology ( although I've been through enough therapy I might be close!) Thats what I would do if I didn't do what I do. The human condition.... what a freaking struggle... thats the state of mind im in this morning. thats where ive been for a couple months. Im writing this this morning because I am aiming to be more consistent with my outreach..... Im in a place where im banging my head against the wall because I seem to be in a place where my business is falling through my fingers... again. the solution is simple. Man power, that takes $, and that takes sales..... which takes marketing... which needs to be consistent. So here we are. This consistency is undoubtedly one of my biggest character flaws as a human... my parenting needs help there too. So, it's not about courage, its about... well maybe a little. I do believe in my ideas. I do believe that I make unique things, and that there is a whole well of ideas that has just been tapped into, I do believe in my love_sewn program.... more than anything I believe in that. When I feel scared about life and how I'm going to make it through another first of the month I sit down at the sewing machine and make something. So maybe its more about persistence..... and stubbornness!! I'm gonna make this work damn it!
I hope to god none of this sounds like self pity, the other reason I sat down to write this is I know I am not the only one who has felt this level of frustration with themselves and life. Open book. Because I'd like to think that we could all do this with out shame. Its ok to say that we are struggling. That we feel lost, scared. Its ok to not have a facade of success all the time.. because that is not how success happens. And maybe if we all knew that then the level of loneness and fear wouldn't be so agonizing at times.